Thanks

[PatientMan]

*sigh*

So she has been lying to me. Things started to turn for the better last late August/September and I began to have some hope of turning the corner. She said, "I love you" for the first time in months and was giving me attention she hadn't given me since the BD. She wanted me to come see her at work before I picked the kids up. She was introducing me to her clients at work as "her husband" and telling me it was good to see the old me again.

Then in late September things starting turning south again. Looking through the kids home phone records this morning I got the itch to search for the OM's # since in the past the D talks have ramped up when she and him are contacting each other, and lo and behold, calls started in late September. She assured me very recently there was no one else in the picture, but the calls to the home phone are at least a few a month, and that implies calls to her cell phone and email contact as well.

I just found this out this morning, and the EA has been difficult enough to deal with in the past, but that was "over" and it's the lying that is tearing me up inside.

I don't know this person. I know she is hurting and confused and that I need to approach this situation delicately and not let my emotions get the best of me. I do not think I should confront her. I am having trouble not confronting him because he has, now thrice, ignored specific terms he was to meet. And I don't know if I should contact his wife, who is well aware of the past, but perhaps not since this started back up in September. I feel she has the right to know, but it would certainly stir the pot a great deal.

She has thanked me multiple times recently for being her friend, which I understand is is the basis for any hope of a future R, but I don't think I can be friends with someone I don't trust. And a PA may be a deal breaker for me.