He is in mid-life crisis because of the behavior he is exhibiting:
I'm not an MLC expert by any means, but based on what you're describing I would agree with you, he sure does sound like an MLCer. The approach between MLCer and WAH is largely the same, but unfortunately it can take much longer for an MLCer to come out of the tunnel.
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I realized the last couple of weeks that my behavior is destructive. I am too focused on his reaction instead of changing my attitude. For me, everyday is a reflection of what I can do better tomorrow. My daughters have notices the little changes in me. It has brought positive changes in our lives.
Great, it sounds like even though you haven't read DB/ DR you're already getting on board with it! What you describe above is a healthy thing for your recovery. A centerpiece of DB'ing is analyzing your destructive behavior and changing it (doing 180s). It's also about taking the focus off your H and putting it on you. Give your H time and space while improving yourself.
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I had to go into my past(being bullied, abandonment, rejection, lack of self esteem, sexual abuse, three abortions, back surgery, addiction to painkillers) to understand why I react the way I do today.
Don't dwell on that too much, DB'ing is not about dredging up the past to figure out WHY you have negative behaviors. It is about CHANGING those behaviors. It's about looking FORWARD, not backward. You don't have to immerse yourself in the past to figure out how to change your negative patterns.
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I was selfish, unhappy, tense, depressed, cut God off in my life, thinking I can do it on my own.
Good that you recognize this, now use that as a basis to develop your 180's
