Your comments are very perceptive. Yes, there's lots of "halo" around the former OW. I had this fantasy; she fulfilled it exactly. She "came to my rescue"; I came to hers. Chemistry. It ended during the romance phase.
I've allowing that halo to remain and taking all the bad stuff on myself.
My struggle is closing my mind to thoughts of the former OW and unfairly comparing my wife to former OW.
I'm not second guessing my choice to stay (there was really no choice) its the distraction. My Wife, family, heck my life deserve my undiluted attention.
As it regards Transparency, my Wife is extraordinarily empathetic and has a high emotional IQ. She's said things that make it clear that she understands that would be residual emotions. (Recently and out of the blue, she offered to let me send the former OW a letter if I needed to). However I don't bring it up to her. That is unfair to her.
