I'm a little confused after phone coaching session

[labug]

Another administrative detail because my memory needs help. Could you add a mini history to your posts?

Go to My Stuff up top, then edit profile, then at the bottom is a place to create your signature.

Thanks.

About your concern that being nice will make him think you're OK with the S... You don't have control of how he feels and it seems you get that. You're in the "normalizing relations" part of this. My H is a "nice guy" too and it took him months before he would talk to me, I think he needed to feel safe around me, that he wasn't going to get anger, pressure, guilt.

So keep being friendly and it sounds like you could use the practice in letting go of control.