Some people say you need it in order to not become a doormat.
Personally, I believe that some serves a purpose, to allow you to find your way, to make your decision to stand or not...
I think once you have made your choice, of where your line in the sand is, then you don't need to receive more, and when there is something that crosses that line, we will receive what we need.
Otherwise, all it does is add fuel to a fire that we are trying to put out within ourselves.
People are strange creatures. We say we want others to be happy. Sometimes I wonder though, whose determines what happiness is for others...
In my own sitch, there was stuff that if I had known, may have caused me not to go through with the wedding to begin with. And honestly, I don't believe I would have been happier if that had been the case.
Was my M perfect? Not by a long shot.
Was it the worst M ever? Not by a long shot.
I had a lot of happy years. I was able to give my S the family I so wanted him to have.
The "intel", for me, had little impact on the outcome of my M. Personally, I would have tried to work through almost anything. My X, didn't feel the same way. After the bomb, I realize that the most loving thing I could give to him, and really to both of us, was to let him go.
Just make sure that you are being true to yourself. That you know where your line is. I think you are figuring it out and that is part of this process.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
