Stbx arrived tonight to collect the kids. He'd insisted that i nominate a time, so i did. I asked him to speak to the kids about it beforehand. He chose not to.
When he got here (7pm on a school night) D17 said she had a big assignment essay due tomorrow and she didn't have time to go out with him. S14 said he had homework too.
He ranted and raved and ended up telling them they had to come out of the house with him because he needed to give them a lecture about how to behave (he really said this!).
After 10 mins he stomped out, but not before he insisted that i tell him whether or not I had received the D papers (my L responded to his L days ago).
After he left S14 said "What an arsehole".
I asked stbx before he left if his dad was Ok but he just grunted at me, so I thought I should ring MIL and FIL to check in and say that we'd heard the news about his illness and were worried about him.
Well, FIL answered when I rang and he was very cold. I told him the kids were worried about him and would he like to speak to them and he said "I would like to see the kids at my house, with stbx name."
I said "Sure, absolutely".
He said "You need to tell stbx that and let them come with him"
I stammered and stuttered because I was so taken aback to think that they would assume that i was stopping the kids from seeing their father or their grandparents.
I blurted out "Stbx was here tonight actually".
FIL obviously knew this and then things fell into place for me. Stbx has been telling them that i won't allow him to see the kids or take them out of the house... He probably told his parents he was bringing the kids to see them tonight (it would have been a 2-hr outing). He didn't tell the kids this, nor me.
The issue is that that they don't want to go with out him because he has been treating them so badly, and yells and demands things of them with out considering that they have schedules and plans, etc. His refusal to provide any money for them is also having a big effect on their teenage lifestyles and they resent him for that.
Anyway, he has now turned his parents against me. How they can believe him IDK. They know what he's like. They know what he's done...
The phrase: "If an MLC-er's lips are moving, he's lying" springs readily to mind.
I am just about finished with the whole darn lot of them. If people cant's see right from wrong, well sorry. Life's too short.
I suppose I haven't grown much at all. I really can't get past the idea that people should behave fairly and honestly. I realise that it's futile to try to control others, but there's no point beating your head against a brick wall of poor choices and lack of ethics.
Kids and I sat up till 10.30pm struggling through English and Classics essays for homework. All I really wanted to do was watch a bit of Downton Abbey.
