Gonna be different now, (butterfly in hurricane).

[Big Bruce]

Thank you 25yearsmic, HollyAnn and others for your perspective,
Now that I have "calmed down" a little, I can breathe and act with more thoughtfulness than in the excitment that surrounds the court thing.

Of course I NEVER mentionned money being a problem to W. I complain and whine here, but it's the last thing I'd say to W.

In the same order of thought, I never complained about the cold, the flatness here, lack of activities, etc... on contrary, I praised her place in the beginning, saying it was a quiet, good place, where things were organized.

Now, I understand the concept of her needing this feeling that she "won", that she can leave and, in that way, express how tired and frustrated she was with the marriage, BEFORE she can begin to start seeing that "hey, Bruce is a good guy after all, maybe I have taken too rash a decision..." One has to feel strong before willing to concede anything.
--> Having said that, being "too" friendly in my emails is it counterproductive at this point? (I always wish her a good night, hope you had a good week-end, etc...)

I also understand that it will take time. 6 months or more.
The problem I have is that in June, coincidentally two things happen: the court order cease, which will rekindle the opposition sentiment, the fears and that obstination in her (if they diminish at all in the meantime, that is), and it will be the date where she can legally D without having to ask permissiom from anybody.

So my two questions are: how do I handle the coming three months into us 1.contacting each other normally again, 2.negotiating about extended visit times (possibly 50-50%) for after June and 3.not going to pre-trial which will set ablaze this time the negative con feelings? (besides it's cheaper, if the L bill is like the first one, all my savings aren't enough...) And second question, but it's included in the first almost, how to make her at least not D, she seems to be in such a hurry?

Any thoughts on this?
Merci encore,
Bruce