Any WAS's with success stories? I need to hear it!

[25yearsmlc]

Hey cville, any secret methods to get the WAW, to notice that I'm not the man her peers and mind have made me out to be?

No secrets...which I guess is the secret.

But if her PEERS and SHE think something negative about you then the only thing you can do is: Figure out whether it matters.

IF many people believe it...you have to at least

Analyze it for real, by digging deep and figure out if there is even a THREAD of truth or validity to it.

Even if it's only true in her eyes, it has a thread there...(like an honest miscontrual of an event. It happens. We tend to do a lot of mind reading til we sometimes believe what we "read into," as being a fact.)

If there is a thread of truth to it, or more, we work on that.

We assess if it's a trait we don't want to have, like gossiping or negatively spinning things around us, and being a downer to be around, etc.

OR a worst trait, putting her down, making snarky remarks often, neglecting her in public, "forgetting" her needs as a habit, etc....THOSE traits...

Gotta own them AND CHANGE THEM before you can change anyone's minds.


OTHERWISE, if you truly have looked within, and the ONLY reason those peers believe bad things about you is b/c of what SHE SAYS and the only reason she says those things is...to punish you in some way,

then all you can do is 180s when you have the chance to. Make them a habit so when the time comes, your new normal behavior will show thru.

If you're countering those negatives with new positives (or the positives you always were doing but they did not see)

then you can be sure SOMEDAY one of them will see the behavior does not match her description. They'll catch on.

Finally, if you don't get the chance to change the minds of those peers b/c they are more or less strangers to you,

b/c you don't see them and

they are not part of your social or professional or family life,

then LET IT GO! Who cares what they think?

You may as well worry about that homeless guy who lives on the heating grill downtown, and him what HE thinks of you....and life on Mars.

Last but not least, when people in your life who do know you, insult you or criticize you...

YOU COULD take it as "feedback" from the universe, about something to change, instead of reacting in anger.

To detach from someone who knows and dislikes you (after our son was born, my MIL changed her feelings towards me when I refused to have our son baptized in HER church, but in mine, which my h had agreed to. LONG STORY but the sum of it is, she was anti-Catholic. Didn't matter til kids came around.

I truly honestly stopped caring about her opinion of me when I realized it was more about HER bigotry than anything I'd ever done. So you can put those types of peoplein the homeless guy category, and don't waste an ounce of your energy on them...or it.

Go your way. Be the best man YOU can be, and when you KNOW you have done that, then leave the results up to God.

And hold your head high...