I wanted to ask you about your SS...now. Did you guys tell him the full truth about OM? How do YOU feel your r is with your ss?
If you saw my post on the thread w/my screen name, I've run into some recent issues with my youngest, d15. She really resents my h. Her older siblings have their issues w/him too, but she's the one I'm most concerned with atm.
Granted, she is 15. Some of her attitude is...her attitude. But I'm positive it's not just her age. She's angry and what I now realize is, that whatever work h and I did to reconcile, was NOT something that automatically filtered into her world or her heart.
It is almost as if I thought she'd gone to Retrovaille with us. Not consciously, (duh.)
But somehow I assumed if WE reconciled, everyone would be on board. So there is yet another chapter. Plus, before this, my MIL passed away.
Point being, life keeps throwing us curve balls and we keep needing tools and communication keeps needing to be given, & with effort. Commitments need to be made and then renewed, and so... the work continues.
But if we had not reconciled, there'd still be work.
It would be a different kind of work and we'd be apart doing it. So no, I don't regret the recon, but I regret taking certain aspects of it for granted. I was so focussed on MY changes and the r between h and me, and I believed that our m being renewed and restored was naturally in the children's best interest.
Though I still believe that, I wish we had involved them more with the whole process. Not sure how to do that, since it is a marriage of h and w. But we are also a family...
just food for thought. *(Maybe Starsky or Sandi can address how things went for them vis a vis their children's attitudes, a few years later on in life.)
Keep posting, it's a good topic that Div Remedy does not fully address...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
