25years-hello! Kids seem good. My oldest is 21 never brings it up. At one point after H came home I asked if he had forgiven his dad or where he was with it all. He said he forgave him and believes his dad was having some personal struggles. My other son has a disability. Feelings are hard for him to describe but I DO know he is so glad his dad is home. Now my youngest daughter who is a tween I'm not so sure. She felt replaced by OW's daughter and I think has worked through this but I see her not always trusting his stories. It's a work in progress

I can so relate to Denver's post. It's funny how we all seem to be going through the same feelings at the same time in our post crisis situation.

I too see my mistakes and weaknesses in the marriage. I really work evry day at being the best wife and mother i can.
But I do clearly see a man who really needs to do some hard internal work.

I too put him on a pedestal and blamed myself for everything!! After BD

I was dealing with a man who drank every day and lived basically a double life.

I couldn't stop that.

Anyway. My eyes Are open to him and myself.

I love him and my family. But I sometimes feel like a lot of the burden is on me. Maybe those are expectations I put on myself?! It's hard for me to explain but I feel like my actions are well thought out. Not perfect but with knowing the consequences of not being the best me or wife. He doesn't seem to have that.

He is working hard at the marriage. He is transparent and loving, honest and remorseful. But, more often than not I am surprised at the way he will act or talk to me. They are old habits I know for him. But honestly and I know I will get flamed but I feel he should be working on this. Not wanting to stir up problems. He will apologize. But it's a trigger for me and it takes all I have to walk away as to not start argument. I know he's human and not perfect but really?

Anyway, we are going to marriage retreat again and I am hoping we can talk some about this.

I too like Denver looked at some old fb things about OW and boy it did. No good I feel like I'm still looking for answers. This is hard for me. Help! Can I ask more questions at marriage retreat?

That's all for now. I love responses. Feels good to talk to others that have been where I have. Thank you!