Compliments & Passive Aggressiveness..Work to do!

[SM34]

25,

And I say this with the most respect for such a kind and helpful soul such as you... Why do I get bashed so much? I mean i was asking if anyone thought that being overly nice and overly helpful to your spouse might actually cause them to not respect you, and then end up leaving you. Thats all. I wasn't simplifying it. I wasn't lecturing all of you. I was teaching you, or telling you (these are things I have been accused of in the past by many of you).

If you look back at this thread, where I asked for help with how to compliment, I GOT HAMMERED!!! I WAS COMPLETELY NAILED TO THE WALL.

Yes I did eventually get some good advise, but not before I was told I was looking for a magic pill or a silver bullet or that i just keep asking for questions etc....

Now go to suckerpunch's thread. He suggested he needed help with compliments and no one said a thing about that being ridiculous and how pathetic it is that he cannot do something that is free, and makes people feel good about themselves.

Of course his responses were lead by Sandi, who said "Oh don't worry, we will help you with how to compliment". And EVERYONE, CHIMED IN AND OFFERED RESPONSES THAT WERE VERY GOOD!

I really don't get it. Two people in the same position, ask the same answer, and one gets a pat on the back, and they other gets a 2x4 up his butt.

the mr nice guy part that I thought was me was the tasks part. When I have a lot of tasks, I get overwhelmed. Procrastination and too much mulling over stuff, is apparently a characteristic of a "Nice Guy".

thats where this comes in:

But the fact is, you are NOT - DOING much different. It seems to take you forever to DO a new behavior, w/endless requests for help in doing it exactly right

Anyway everyone, I love you all.. you are my new found family and i appreciate all of your help. it stings sometimes, but I know why it MUST.

Thanks again! Gotta go get ready for the meditation! Have to dig out the yoga mat and bring it with me :}