Sigh. BIG HUGS!!! Just thinking about dealing with the things you are was like a knife in my chest.

Obviously, I'm new here. I have only just begun what you have been walking through for 2 years.

But your honesty is what is going to get you through this. If you can't state where you are, you can't go anywhere. Denial will just push you further into crazytown.

Be kinder to yourself. There is no timeline on feelings. This is not what you wanted for your life, I get that!!

The one thing I do know, is not to give up on you!! There is a better life for you. For your kids. There is!! Just trust that I know that is true. You tell me that 2 years from now...

M: 9 yrs
T: 13 yrs
H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months
Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs
Dbing 12/12
S 1/13
7/13 H moved back in basement.
8/13 #3 born
10/13 still cheating
10/13 He moves across country, I file for D