Wow, that text convo reminded me so much how I would text my W or talk to her about what she is doing. I have learned that is the owrst thing possible. We dont think they see that, but I can assure you they do. It becomes extremly aggrovating and reminds the WAS of why they want out in the first place. i have been much better about that lately. As a matter of fact my W called last night to tell me plans had change for her upcoming trip to Fla. She said she had good news and bad news. When she was done I said that was good news and good news. Her tone of voive and reaction were funny. She just expected I would get angry and upset that she was changing the plans. I've learned what I need to fix for me. Now its just about doing it
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
You guys are all right - in retrospect I was digging - because I feel lied to. Not that it makes it any better.
But why would that affect your attitude? Michele talks in DR about acting "as if" everything is fine even when it isn't. Be upbeat, positive, happy, independent, strong! Your attitude should be that you don't care whether he's lying or not, because you are going to be OK with or without him. So if he starts pushing your buttons, don't engage! Just act "as if" It takes practice, but once you start doing it and see how much better it makes you feel to remain upbeat rather than being drawn into yet another fight, you'll want to keep it up!
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
You guys are all right - in retrospect I was digging - because I feel lied to. Not that it makes it any better.
But why would that affect your attitude? Michele talks in DR about acting "as if" everything is fine even when it isn't. Be upbeat, positive, happy, independent, strong! Your attitude should be that you don't care whether he's lying or not, because you are going to be OK with or without him. So if he starts pushing your buttons, don't engage! Just act "as if" It takes practice, but once you start doing it and see how much better it makes you feel to remain upbeat rather than being drawn into yet another fight, you'll want to keep it up!
Thank you AS, I needed that reminder today!! Minor backslide, it happens right?
Cdad (sorry if I got that wrong) I did just let it go. Betting we don't have any contact now until Friday morning, unless he needs something.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
A little ranting... I'm not very 'techie'. H got a new phone and we should be able to do facetime. I haven't been able to get mine to work. We talk about trying to get it to work thru text messages - he ends up frustrated thinking I'm not doing what he's saying.
I am doing it, it's not working and I remind him that I have a 2 year old demanding lots of attention at the moment. Of course his answer is tell her no - she's much different for me than for him.
Anyway, we finally call so she can talk to him. He makes several digs like 'well if I could see'...etc.
We bring up the facetime again and I again say what it is doing and that I set it up the way he said. He said he needs to go before he gets too annoyed by me.
Huh? I'm annoying because what you are telling me to do isn't working?!!
We get off the phone, I send some screen shots. And he confirms that it doesn't work right on my type of phone, that I may need an app.
Oh - so you mean it wasn't me?! (no, i didn't say it!) I did ask if he saw why I was frustrated but as I wrote that he said he would research it, I just said OK, thanks.
I just felt like he was saying I'm stupid. It's common knowledge that I have no patience with tech stuff. But I'm not stupid. And I was trying.
Needed to get it out....
Oh - and after not talking since yesterdays big drama, we did have several normal, polite exchanges today
In other news - I'm planning to go skydiving this spring! I've wanted to for a LONG time - it's time! Plus one of those things I said I'd do when finally lost weight.
I am soooooo tech dumb. Too bad my H is even worse than me.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I got free tickets to a concert out of town tomorrow! So my good friend and I are heading out of town. This is a little out of character for me since I just got asked yesterday, see I can do things on the fly!!
Can't wait for it to warm up so the skydive trip can be planned
It takes practice, but once you start doing it and see how much better it makes you feel to remain upbeat rather than being drawn into yet another fight, you'll want to keep it up!