My plan? 1. Talked to my attorney already and i know my options. Adultery in my state is a crime and also bars her from alimony.
Just curious how one goes about documenting this in such a way that it can't be denied?
As for the kids - tread very very carefully. When my ex had an affair, the kids were home with me when I found the evidence, and I could not hide my shock from them. We reconciled - quite successfully - and were happy together for a few more years before my H went down the rabbit hole the final time. But my kids are all now in their 20's and I am only now seeing how much trepidation they had during those "good" years of our reconciliation - apparently they were always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
So I'd say, say as LITTLE as possible to your kids unless it's CLEAR that you will be divorcing and there is no reconciliation possible. Then it may be appropriate to let older teens know you weren't the party responsible for the divorce, but no more.
Also - taking a compassionate view of your wife - sounds like this trainer may be a real Lothario. Some guys abuse the intimacy of that position and prey on women to get them into the sack. She very well may be devastated when she learns that she is not "special" but just one of many.
KML, It is well documented and I will share how that all happened when I can. Nothing in life is ever iron clad but this is as close as it gets.
