Time For Me (Part 2)

[Spartan]

Thanks Cat and I agree that something I need to work on is acting out of a clear and conscious headspace. I let things fester in the past and never acted so now I feel like I need to address everything immediately. This doesn't always work for obvious reasons; I'm still working to make these changes natural and until then the enemy to that are my emotions. What I need to do is take a step back when something gets me going and think about it and my response before addressing it. I know what to do, the doing it in the heat of the moment is where I still occasionally slip up. I hear what you're saying!

Feelings...I've always shown my feelings more then the average guy I know. Later years in my M I did start repressing them since many weren't good. I'll tell you what though, since BD and working through this process on me, I've become WAY more emotional. Heck, I have feelings about my feelings now . Probably something to do with actually being in touch with myself (keep it clean) and thinking about things in a deeper way.

Feelings, are never wrong. They are what they are.

Funny, I never really thought about it that way. I think I've been kind of ashamed for having feelings in past. I'm a guy, my family is all blue collar, no dad around so felt like I needed to be tougher, etc... I secretly wondered what was wrong with me. Normal guys don't have feelings right... I now know how incorrect that was. Still interesting that I never really processed it before that feelings aren't wrong. My W is also pretty emotionless from her upbringing so with all that I kind of did think my having feelings was wrong.

But saying the word but makes me feel better because then I have a reason for everything I do that's wrong . I hope you see the sarcasm there. I see your point and I do use that word WAY too much. It's part of the manning up and owning my crap thing I'm working on.

Or...maybe it's because I like my butt and I just want to say the word a lot so people think about it...