Trying to remain patient in this crazy situation..

[Tallula]

Ok, you and I are alike in many ways. I have learned the art of texting my H. Mine would have flown off his nut about 4 texts in. here we go...

Grrrr....I hate it when they take things and twist it around into our problem...

Let me have your take on this exchange:

(Now, let's think about this, if I have to let him know that I ahve soemone watching D, even if it's to pick her up early, sholdn't I know if he's staying out of town??)

H plans on going out of town for a sporting event this weekend (his 'friend' that he used to text with all the time jsut so happens to be a big fan of this sport as well)

Me: What time will you be dropping D off Saturday morning?

H: 8 or 9. Unless she wants to stay with grandparents

Me: I'd rather you just bring her home. Are you driving gas guzzler?
(I inquire because he is constantly complaining about the gas his car uses)

H: Not sure yet.

Me: Are you staying all night?
(don't you think this is a valid question as we do have a child and we are still married?)

H: Probably

I would have said. When do you think you will be home.

Me: And you don't have plans as to who is driving? Do you even know who you are going with?
(the other day when I asked what he was going to st louis for he quickly offered up this one guy or this other group of guys, I never had asked)

H: Nope. It's still several days away. Do you need the car?


Me. It's 2 days away.

Why do you need to know if he is driving. As he asked, do you need the car? Are you trying to budget the trip? Why does it matter that it is 2 days away? I say this, because I use to argue a point, just because I am right. Why doesn it matter if it is 2 days away. This is where my H would have flipped his lid...

H: Yes I do. I already told you I was going with. Would you like to send a surveillance camera along too?

Me: No you didn't, said maybe this guy or this group. Just inquiring, nothing wrong with that. You would do the same.

H: You've passed the line of just inquiring.

He is right...

I get it, I do. But DON'T ask. Just the basics. When will you be home, so I can plan my weekend. If you don't actually have to know for your plans. Don't ask. It's simple...but hard!

I have not replied. He blew this WAY out of proportion. Did you ever see me ask anymore than who he was going with, if he was staying all night and what time he would drop D off?

Could he not just give straight up answers and be done?

He's the one that writes rants on texts putting himself in danger while he drives.

It's bee MONTHS since I made any sort of comment about him being too busy to text me etc.

Spewing. And I feel like he's doing it because he is lying about something.

And here we go!! BINGO! You were trying to ask something without actually asking. If you need to know, be direct. He knows what you are doing. I knew what you were doing. Even if he says the guys, you won't believe him. I know, because I was doing this early in my sitch.

Like I said, really think about each interaction. I keep my questions direct. If I want to know something, I ask it. But I also think about what I really need to know.

This stuff is hard. emotions are everywhere. I need to go back and read up on your sitch more.

HUGS!!!