I made a financial decision (that wouldn't affect him) and he felt I had undermined him. I had NO idea my actions would come across this way but with much better communication from both our parts, we learned something new about each other.
-I find it amazing how a WAS continues to think they have right to control things in the marriage from which they have walked away. But unemotional detachment is the key. So congrats for learning.-
Yesterday at IC, she said that I'm obsessing about the letter. Live in the present. The time will come for him to write the letter.
-Right, maybe you are looking to it as a SIGN. That probably puts to much weight on it.-
However she said, now that you will both be returning to MC have the discussions in front of MC about our difference of opinion when it comes to rebuilding trust, among other things. She said, notice how he gradually responds to conflict in front of the MC between the both of you. That is more telling than the letter.
-A few thoughts about boundaries. I would imagine that its tempting for the LBS to focus on just getting the WAS back into the house and worrying about the details later. I suspect that's a mistake. I think its reasonable for both of you to set ALL the boundaries, BEFORE he moves back in. That way there can be no feelings of bait and switch; less hurt feelings, and less confusion.-
