Time For Me (Part 2)

[cat04]

I probably should have called it more of an agreement then used the word boundary.

That was what I was wondering.

She said she agreed with that and said she has no intention of finding or looking for anyone and she just wants to be alone and feel free to do what she wants since she's never been on her own

Script...

I really believed her and it was helping me because I wasn't wondering about another guy. I'm honestly not sure I could have done the friending work I was doing if that potential was alive and visible, at least not to level I felt I was. Right or wrong it helped me to start becoming her friend again and I felt like I was starting to gain trust in her.

I don't think there is right or wrong here.

And it does sound like it helped you in the short term. I think, unfortunately, it also gave you some unrealistic expectations. And I think that is a huge part of why the break in trust feels so intense right now.

the breaking of agreements/ vows/ whatever you want to call them has been a reoccurring issue with her for way longer then I like to admit.

It's ok to type what you think. For a lot of reasons.

One that I will address is your statement about controlling your feelings. DB isn't about NOT feeling or controlling your feelings. Feelings, are never wrong. They are what they are.

What we control, is our reaction to those feelings. Whether we lash out in rage, hide in fear, or whatever. We have to feel the feelings, process them, and then ACT out of a clear and conscious headspace instead of REACTING.

Another thing that you can work on, is communication skills. You know how I feel about buts if you read those threads...

That was something that was drilled into my head by another poster here. You use the word but a whole bunch in your writing. I counted five in the post where you talked about it a bit. Five. That is a lot for a few paragraphs. You may have simply been looking for a filler word. IDK. We all can improve our communication skills so that our words are better understood by others without them having to "fill in the gaps". Word choice is an excellent place to start.

That requires a filter between your brain and your mouth. Or your fingers. It requires you to edit yourself until it becomes something natural.

Just my thoughts...