Just getting caught back up on others sitch's and I'm so sorry for your loss. You, your son, and your family will be in my prayers.

I know how much you're hurting right now but try not to let all the negative thoughts consume you. As adinva mentioned start looking at the good stuff in your life. Also remember the good times you had with your father. Those are memories and life lessons that can never be taken from you.

Originally Posted By: Intact
W is having a lot of problems with our 8 year old Son - he keeps swearing at her - he's obviously very angry. I have him tonight so I need to talk too him about this - it's difficult though because honestly when he's here he's such a kind hearted and helpful boy.

How is your son doing? You need to stay as strong as you can for him because he's going through a lot right now too and I'm guessing you're his rock. You might be surprised at just how much comfort he will give back to you in these circumstances. A hug from my D seems to make almost everything go away for me...

Originally Posted By: 2thepoint
As you have likely been advised and read among these pages, you need to look after yourself. Prepare for the reality of a permanent break up of your family. Doing so with help you move forward and detach in a way that will help you survive this tragedy.

Finally, think about how your W would react if you were to stop being affected by her spew. How might she react if you were to totally and completely detach? If you can do this though, you can't do so with the thought of getting her to come around. It has to be so that you can survive and thrive on your own. Afterall, isn't your reality today anyway?

This is great advice so I wanted to make sure you read it again. This is exactly the spot that I'm in. Just the mindset change that the word "family" for me now means my kids and I changed everything. It's hard, no doubt, but I now feel like I'm ready to take the next step towards moving forward with MY life.

As far as detaching I think you need to do this for you right now. With the things your W has said and how she treats you is it really in your best interest to remain attached, especially with everything else going on in your life? Detaching means something a little different to everyone on here but, whatever you call it, I think you need to just concentrate on you and your son for the time being.

Stay strong man, like I said, you will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.


Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are

Turn your trials into your testimonies

Don't believe everything you think

Expectations are resentments waiting to happen