I am in agreement with Jayhawk1970, as a LBS whose W walked out on me with complaints that I controlled her and our money, didn't listen to her opinions etc. It does seem funny now that while she has stated she has no love for me and wants to do her own things, she is still leaving it up to me to do the selling of our houses, changing the names on the car registrations and deal with all the money issues. Same things I did before the BD, so the reality is she doesn't know how, when or why to do these things herself. My 180 is to not do them, let her do them. She can set up times with the bank to change the mortgage, or sell the house, or get valuations. She can go to the Dept of Transport and organise what paperwork needs to be filed for name changing.
I think my H would be the same way. While he seems resentful that I control the money, he has told me that he knows it's hard and I take good care of it, and that he wouldn't want to do it. He's gotten better lately.
Right now I still take care of all the bills and his check still goes in joint account. I told him how much is in budget for gas, spending etc and he has been doing pretty well with that. I'd rather just let him have his check but I don't feel that is 'fair' since he decided to leave.
If he decides to get his own place....well, not sure how that will go down.
He's being rather short tonight, when I had to ask about a few things, oh, well...
I signed up online today for a db phone coach but haven't heard anything from anyone, besides getting an invoice in email.
