As for the marriage and the issues in the marriage, I think the number one issue is the lack of intimacy and affection. My wife agreed this past saturday that she literally weighed the benefits of staying together or leaving and being alone and the latter won out. In other words, life is too short and we all want peace. I just held back over the years for the very reasons the DR book describes in Ch. 10. You mention that my wife was missing something within herself or the marriage or both. I think there is something going on within her. I mean why does someone wait 10 years to pull the trigger? She did threaten divorce in 2002 and we had a long talk about me being home more and then I proceeded to break that promise. In 2010 she asked me to leave and I did for 2 months. That is it. She says the kids were sort of a buffer for her and that once they were gone she no longer had that anymore. I know that the house, finances, kids in college are also areas of stress for her. She likes to worry. I have just made renovations to the house and am selling it so that won't be an issue and we will have a little nest egg. As for work, well, when you have children at 21 your going to have to cash flow college. I am still paying for my three degrees so I think money has been an issue. She was a personnel consultant and in 2008 left a great money making job because she didn't like her boss. Tried to continued the same work with a different employer but the economy affected the success and she now has completely changed careers and learning a new industry with great potential for success. Saturday night she told me that we needed this separation. That she just had to remove herself from the situation. I am a very committed person to everything I do. She would tell you that I am the one person she knows that when I set my mind on something I usually will get it. I think that is a part of me that she probably fell in love with from the begining. What you see is pretty much what you get and I think that I scared her with the drinking over the years. I work for myself, so I had alot of freedom. I don't know if I am rambling or actually helping you see our issues but I will stop there and wait for your thoughts. I really appreciate your input.
