Thank you for the response. Yes, I can and have cut down on the drinking literally the day she walked away. I can't blame my drinking entirely on the infidelity and don't. That has been a source of conflict between us - the cause of my drinking. It clearly was a coping mechanism the last ten years as we just simply did very little that the DR says should be done in such a time of crisis. All she ever did was withdraw when the topic came up. To make matters worse, I am kind of sensitive. As for forgiveness, I had always thought I had forgiven my wife but in truth I had really just sort of cognitively said your forgiven. The separation had a huge impact on me. It literally forced me to look at how selfish I had been for many, many years and now through self-reflection, prayer, reading the DR and another book called the Fifth Agreement (good read), counseling and just listening to my wife during my three month chasing period, I have finally been freed of my resentment. I just want the chance to really love my wife for the first time ever. I totally have absorbed the DR methods and want the opportunity to implement them in our life and relationship. I guess I am just suppose to continue the LRT? I mean my wife kind of gave with one hand and took with the other last Saturday at dinner when she said she wasn't sure she wanted the M to be over but also wasn't sure if it was fair to not let me go because she wasn't sure again about the R??? She even called me yesterday to inquire about a doctor visit I had Monday. I am just wondering if it is time to shift gears a bit and maybe just ask her if we can begin dating, perhaps some intimacy (its been 6 months), or just something besides nothing?? I don't want to blow what ground we have gained but I get the feeling that maybe its time. I don't know. What do you think?
