25years,
Yes, this is out of character for her. We started dating in HS and I have never suspected anything. She has been loyal. However, back in September or October, although I didn’t know it at the time, she developed the classic MLC traits.

I will call a DB coach for help on the boundaries. We used a marriage counselor here that actually placed me with the book Divorce Remedy and coached along those lines as well. She was at a point with my W that there was nothing else she could do. She gave us 4 choices which included reconciliation which the W didn’t want, trial separation, legal separation, or living parallel lives in the same house. She wanted us to come back. My W didn’t want to go back and has decided for herself that she wants a parallel life. Pretty good gig if you can get it. Have weekly sex in your hotel with your trainer, but what you want and party to all hours of the night.

As far as the need for a trainer, she has suffered with sever back pain for almost 7 years. She started working with this trainer and he helped her lose 35 pounds and did so while not only not creating any back pain, but it has gone away all together. Medically, the x-rays don’t lie. She still has disk issues but she feel better now than ever. She says she cares for me and loves me but is not in love with me. We have not had sex in 6 months. She has been sleeping in a separate room for that time blaming her poor sleeping habits. She also said that I have become less affectionate over time. That was probably true but I have changed and she has recognized that but the more I tried to make up for that, the more she pushed back and therefor DR and the 180. That has not worked yet.

She is still at home although when my plan is in place and I confront H, that may change.

I feel that with time, counseling and love, I can overcome the pain of the A. We are human after all. I have never had an A and after being part of this from my end, I would never want to hurt someone like this. I can move past it.

Yes, we had a connection and in fact, I felt we had it up until the time she dropped the B. That said, during counseling, I look back at the last 2 to 3 years and I see where we have grown apart but not to the point of no return. Yes, I deeply love my wife. Otherwise, I would not be committed to heal and move past this.

Yes, and all this makes sense and it is greatly appreciated!