Wife said she was done!

[movingon-1968]

I believe & am successfully detaching from my wife. Her being not very nice to me and showing lack of respect to me makes me wonder if I really want to be with a woman who treats me that way.

You need to get past this - you're assigning blame. It doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong in your eyes. She's hurting and your few weeks of changes will not undo years of issues she's put up with. Remember, respect is earned. Looking back, and be honest, do you feel you've earned her respect? Been the best you that you can be?

I am kinda looking forward to living by myself and focusing on being a better person. I sacrificed a lot for my family and while it will hurt not to be with them all the time, I can make the best of the situation to become the person I always wanted to be.

Right attitude with the self improvement, but, I take exception to the highlighted part. Certainly you don't think you're the only one who sacrificed a lot...?

Maybe it’s the high part of the roller-coaster right now. Could it be the fact that I have been sober for 3 months, lost a bunch of weight, living with a positive attitude, enjoying being more productive around the house, reading self-help books, doing more activities with my boys and my dog? Donno but it seems to be working.

3 months vs. how many years? Continue the work, but, keep it all in perspective...

For us to successfully get back together it would take effort from the both of us. She is no ware near that point right now.

Are you? Be realistic. You're 3 months into changing/self improvement. You may have started the things your W has identified, but, have you REALLY looked at yourself and identified anything about yourself that YOU don't like? Again, be honest with yourself.

When/if she does I know I have the correct tools to be able to work on our relationship successfully. She is all excited to buy a new house and to me she is getting in too deep with a high mortgage, She is oblivious to all the extra cost associated with buying a bigger home and I can see that she will have trouble making ends meet. All I can do is be prepared to be there for them if/when the deck of card come crashing down.

And you know this will happen how? You sound like you're waiting for her to fail. Wishful thinking? From reading your post, you almost sound like you hope she will fail. Again, an outsider view - doesn't seem like you're being fair to the situation.

Funny that all her divorced, single friends are encouraging this and all my married stable friends think that she is making a huge error in judgment. Only time will tell.

Here, you just sound bitter. Sorry, that's how it comes off from reading the post. Give some consideration to NOT discussing your problems with friends and family. They come into a discussion with a bias, when you really NEED unbiased and nonobjective advice in dealing with your sitch. She needs the same, but, she will have to find that out on her own...