We had a huge argument on Saturday night. Both of us let loose on one another. W telling me that I was reverting to old behaviors of withdrawing, me telling W that I had been withdrawing because she wasn't making me and our M a priority and that she wasn't even trying to pay attention to my love languages. W telling me that she was being distant because of my behavior, that I don't give things time to heal because I always seem mad at her. I don't know. It's basically a "chicken or the egg" dilemma.
Regarding 5LL, the most basic principal in that book is that if you want your love tank filled, you FIRST have to fill your spouse's tank You state that your LL is not being filled by your W, but you also state what your reaction is to that- withdrawal. You are doing the OPPOSITE of what you need to do! It sounds clear that you both are running on empty again and both of you are reverting to old behavior- sitting back and getting more and more bitter while waiting for your spouse to come fill your love tank and wondering why they're not. So break the pattern, make the first move!
You state that your LL is not being filled by your W, but you also state what your reaction is to that- withdrawal. You are doing the OPPOSITE of what you need to do! It sounds clear that you both are running on empty again and both of you are reverting to old behavior- sitting back and getting more and more bitter while waiting for your spouse to come fill your love tank and wondering why they're not. So break the pattern, make the first move! 