Plus, who's to say he is really MLC? He may be. But guess it doesn't really get treated much differently anyway.
It can be difficult to tell the difference and you're right, for the most part it doesn't really matter. You've still got to detach and GAL regardless. MLC's take much longer to resolve as a rule, that's the main difference.
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I was reading thru some other posts this morning and someone was talking about how their H asks questions when they are going somewhere and is concerned they may meet a new man. As someone replied there, it does seem like they want to use it as an excuse to validate them leaving.
The irony is a WAS involved in an affair becomes VERY suspicious of the LBS even if the LBS is doing nothing! I guess they think that because they're having an affair that their spouse must be too. They'll engage in all kinds of craziness- snooping, contacting friends to find out what the LBS is up to, etc. I know a woman whose adulterous husband wanted HER to get tested for STDs!!!! And she did, and he didn't!!!! Still makes me shake my head to think about.
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It is so hard as an LBS to not give into temptations sometimes. I want to work things out with H, truly I do. But when you are feeling left behind, uncared for, unloved and a million other things, and someone else wants to give you that, it's hard to say no.
You are quite right, and it's even worse if your primary love language is physical touch, because you really feel totally unloved without it.
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Don't get me wrong - I did say no, nothing happened, and I haven't talked with the guy again. But it's hard. I pray a lot and listen to music that lets me know that the greatest love comes from God and he gives me all of the love and attention I truly need.
That's a great way to deal with it, I think you're doing fantastic! Not sure why you were expecting a 2x4
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I'm only 4 months into this and sometimes I just feel like I'm wasting time. Time for what? I'm not totally sure. As I posted in the other thread, I keep having thoughts about my biological clock ticking. And I jsut want things to be 'normal' again.
Things will never go back to "normal". The best you can hope for now is building a new relationship with your H. At 35 you've still got a lot of potential baby years ahead of you, so I wouldn't worry too much about those urges right now, just give yourself time to heal first and see where things go. Good luck!
