Trying to remain patient in this crazy situation..

[JBolt]

...are they really just waiting around for the LBS to do the dirty work (file)?

Hi LMF, I'm in much the same boat you are, BD in mid Oct'12 and my W turned into a complete alien in less than a day. She strongly implied divorce that first day, but didn't actually say it.

Since, however, she has brought it up several times, and said she doesn't like to see me in pain and it will be best for me to move on. The last time we talked about it was Valentines Day (so thoughtful). The thing is, by the way she talks about it, I get the distinct impression she's never even really looked into it. On V-day, she said, "I am going to file", then proceeded to ask me what I wanted to do; .."share a lawyer, find a mediator, whatever you want to do." I told her I would think about it, but told myself I wouldn't lift a finger to help her.

Some of them do want the LBS to pull the trigger. It allows them to say, "look, even my H/W thinks we had a bad marriage", or "my H/W divorced me.. , or internally "I knew I wasn't worthy of their love". So often, I think they will threaten the big D, but never actually make the move.

The irony is that I have been looking into it. I can see why MLCers/WAS's don't often initiate divorce, this sh#t is hard. There are many forms to fill out and lots to think about, and I don't think the scatter-brained alien W has transformed into could slog through this without a lot of assistance. She has no money for an attorney, so that may be a motivator for getting me to do it also. I've got all the paperwork, even filled some of it out, calculated child support as best I can, etc. (while sobbing and blubbering uncontrollably)

Everything in my being is telling me the only way to really cut her loose is to really cut her loose. When I'm done (which feels very close), I will be done. I will probably give it until the end of March, if she doesn't file first. I can tell you though, I am really sick of this. I just can't imagine a life with her after everything she has done and said. My sense of trust and romantic love for her is gone. Sorry to be so negative.
J.