Mtnmn, the flirting sounds fun! Aren't you glad you held it together this weekend when it mattered most...in front of her?
I doubt she would be this playful with you if you were sad and lonely-looking.
Keep up the good work rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Thanks rH! I've been thinking the same. I believe the fbook mistake I made a week ago, along with the GAL/attitude I've had, is slowly making her realize I don't have to wait or settle or otherwise be destroyed by her actions. I'm hoping she appreciates the fact that I'm here, for her, by choice.
This evening we were alone together for about an hour cooking supper. We had nice conversation and no disagreements. I encouraged her to put in for a promotion at her work, bragged on her intelligence, etc related to that, and even talked about some hobby type activities she's been doing. It was as close to the old norm as we've had in a week or so.
I have a db question that I need help with. My boys have always known, because I've always made it very clear, that I adore their mother. Part of our normal family conversation usually includes the boys making a comment about my feelings toward W, whether its how pretty, smart, etc. How do I handle that now? When one of the boys says, 'Mommy looks pretty doesn't she' I'm torn on what to say. So far, I've kept my normal responses like, 'she is beautiful' or something like that. Not sure how that plays now.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
W texted this morning that she wasn't feeling well. Later she said she felt feverish. Well, ten mins ago she showed up at home. Checked her for a fever, by putting my face on hers (just the way I do it---might as well take advantage), and no fever. She went straight to our bed and got in. I guess most teens want to be home when they dont feel well. Wish I could take care of her.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
MM, I think your boys like mine are looking for reassurance that things are going to be okay. My S6 pestered H a lot about wanting us to be a family again, why he left, when he is coming home. I would tell him that Daddy just needs to work on some things right now and he can't do it here. That was good enough for S6 and he stopped asking. I think your wife handled it well too, just saying she needed some girl space. I think it's important for the kids to realize that this is not their fault, because they tend to take it as such. It's very difficult on my boys because their father was very involved pre BD.
I think you should still respond to your boys with assurance. You don't have to say she is beautiful if she is there and that comes across as pursuing. You can say, "You're right, buddy" or "Yup and I think you look super handsome!"
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
Traveling for work and its actually been nice to get away from the craziness. W asked to talk to me last night when I called the boys. Said she wanted to tell me good night??? This morning I got a text about how she had forgotten how nice our shower was at home (she stays there while I'm gone).
What goes up must come down. I'll prepare for that. Part of the roller coaster.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
You're doing well, Mm. Continue to let her lead for now. No pressure or expectations from you.
It seems most of what you've written here, even in your opening post, has been about your interactions since she moved out this past January. Can you tell us a little about how you both got along from BD in March 2012 until then? I see a little about what she was doing, but what about you?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
It was an odd deal. We never slept apart, ML 3-5 times per week, acted really normal. She slowly drifted away from any interactions with boys, but was always very affectionate with me. Told me several times throughout the last year she was in love with me and just needed space. No arguing, no threats of leaving, just that she needed space and fun out with friends. We travelled, went out to eat often, vacations, you name it. It was the same as always other than her going out, and not helping around the house and with boys.
I had read about mlc, but wasn't aware of the dbing that I should've been doing. I basically treated her like a princess, and she gave me every indication it was working.
When I saw the improper communication end of December, she said I told you I wasn't in love with you. Went from hot to cold within 2 mins.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
What goes up must come down. S tells me W has a dating app on her phone. I'm more upset that he's questioning why she has than the fact that she has it. How dumb!
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
