I think the world of Retrouvaille, and got a lot out of it myself. But unless they've changed their rules, they don't accept couples where there is still an active affair going on.
And NO, you should NOT be paying for her personal trainer! That (cutting off $$$ for anything that enables her affair) needs to be #1 on your list, but -- as we are both saying above -- that list is NOT to be executed until you've got the whole plan fleshed out and you discuss it here (if you think we can help). It was several weeks before I gave my wife the "I have decided that I will no longer pay for you to conduct your affair" letter, which included completely firewalling our finances (having my paycheck directly deposited into a new account that she didn't have access to), and after meeting with a good family law attorney for a free consult to better understand my rights and responsibilities.
