Plus, who's to say he is really MLC? He may be. But guess it doesn't really get treated much differently anyway.
I was reading thru some other posts this morning and someone was talking about how their H asks questions when they are going somewhere and is concerned they may meet a new man. As someone replied there, it does seem like they want to use it as an excuse to validate them leaving.
This may sound awful but it has been on my mind and I need to get it out somewhere. It is so hard as an LBS to not give into temptations sometimes. I want to work things out with H, truly I do. But when you are feeling left behind, uncared for, unloved and a million other things, and someone else wants to give you that, it's hard to say no. Don't get me wrong - I did say no, nothing happened, and I haven't talked with the guy again. But it's hard. I pray a lot and listen to music that lets me know that the greatest love comes from God and he gives me all of the love and attention I truly need.
It's difficult to not use this other person in a mean way as well. When H was accusing me of things Sunday morning I said I was home in bed alone, because I chose to be not because I needed to be. I honestly didn't mean for it to sound mean, but he was hurt by it. Well, it's the truth tho. I have avoided giving details about the other guy - he's 24, etc - because I would only do it to make H jealous. And I just shouldn't do that.
Just needed to let it out, surely someone else has dealt with this.
I'm only 4 months into this and sometimes I just feel like I'm wasting time. Time for what? I'm not totally sure. As I posted in the other thread, I keep having thoughts about my biological clock ticking. And I jsut want things to be 'normal' again.
