From the beginning...

[movingon-1968]

BB,

this is a reaction I have that is "off the top of my head", okay?

Never going to turn down constructive criticism!

I say don't toss in the barb about her not working since May.

You couldn't have forced that barb out of me at gunpoint!

To a lot of women, having to work is a negative reflection on their h, as unfair as that may seem.
Plus she probably feels self esteem blows you are not aware of at all...and

You are undoubtedly right on this - I've felt this to be the case for some time. She did mention that when she doesn't work, we don't have enough money to do what she wants to do. When she works, she doesn't have the time. I told her I certainly understand her frustration, and I continued to listen.

to me, you sound a little bitter and as if you are scorekeeping. And not being fun.

Again, probably some truth to this. I'm trying very hard to get the past out of my head since it cannot be changed. This used to be a constant battle inside my noggin, but, it is getting easier as time goes by.

Too bad you could not even ENTERTAIN the idea of a flat screen.

She may have wanted to play some, just daydream. Let it run its' course til SHE says "OMG I just investigated the costs of a good one...guess we'll have to wait a bit more." That way you are not just saying NO like a parent. The parental tone is a turn off. If she actually thinks you CAN afford it, and you don't, at least hear her out. You two may not be that far apart but "warring" about it isn't the way to work through something, with a winner and a loser.

Oh, there was MUCH more to the conversation. I was trying to keep the post brief, since I do have the tendency to be very detail oriented in what I post (the first three pages of this thread, for example ).

So, yes, there was a discussion, and at one point I told her I was toying with the idea of telling her to buy it - but I did tell her I'd prefer to revisit the idea in May. She thought about it and agreed that since we still have D13 and W's cruise in October to pay for, we should revisit the idea in May.

But you are right, I could have let her come to that conclusion on her own instead of diving into the 'we have no money' cop-out from the beginning...

I used to find it such a downer if I'd wonder out loud "where would WE go if we could go anywhere in the world" and h's reaction would be first, an audible sigh, and "woe is me" comment about "first paying for ALL the kids' colleges"...I mean at that rate, it'd never happen.

I can certainly understand...