snodderly, I'm glad I had the chat too. I feel somewhat better that it is out in the open with both MIL and FIL.

rh, those mlc script lines are floating through my head: We should never have gotten married. I can't live like this anymore wink We should have just stayed friends.

Just the 14 and 16 year old are shooting. My youngest is doing baseball at that time, which FIL is handling. My dad sent the boys his shotgun which my MIL and FIL picked up when they were visiting in their city. It's a 870 Remington.

It's fun to watch, but hard to converse with the grownups with earplugs in my ears.


Journaling:

I'm still processing the weekend.

A few more highlights: I told H that I had a talk with MIL, and also had a talk with FIL about not keeping his grandchildren from him. I know FIL is trying to fill the void.

I told H that his parents are concerned about the boys. Again, I got the new line "I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt them."

For some reason, this line has bothered me more than the ILYBINILWY line. Is it mlc speak also? BTW, I got the ILYBINILWY line again yesterday.

I asked a few questions, just to see what response I would get.

Me: What are your plans? Him: What do you mean?

Me: You said a few months ago you had thought about leaving. Where were you going? Him: What are you talking about?

Me: You've had sex with other people you're not in love with. Why won't you have sex with me. Him: That's different.


Some positives:


H said that he was going to try to rearrange his schedule to take the boys to shooting.

I told him about D cervical cancer. She did make an appointment for next week. He seemed concerned.

We had to attend FIL Bday party yesterday. I drove the boys there. H stayed at home and washed laundry. FIL told me that we could bring over the clean laundry and use their dryer, so H's plan was to wait and follow us when his clothes were washed.

He got there about and hour and a half late. As usual, he mostly avoided me. It hurt.

But he got his laundry done.

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around DETACHing and living like he is never coming back while he is here. He is interacting more with the boys, but not me. It hurts. It hurts a lot. It feels like a little stab in my stomach.

When will that start to lessen?

I seem to do so well for a certain amount of time with the DB, and then I blow my stack and confront, or ask questions.

I finished knitting my socks. I'm wearing them now. I've started on a spider hat.

I've made a new friend in real life. This particular friend was an answer to a prayer, so I'm very happy about that.