Looking for a little advice and support

[cbtdad]

Need help!! I just messed up terribly on 180 and retrouvaille.
I was at w moms house and we were talking outside. She was in a terrible mood. And I kept asking what's wrong. Dumb mistake number 1. Then she said something to the effect of she is only going retrouvaille so that we could communicate better. I got mad, lost my temper and said something like this, "well you aren't te only one. I'm not sure retouvaille will help anything. Not sure you will ever change from being a selfish bi@$&"
So I call her when I got home to apologize. She says she is done! She said, just when I give her the slightest hope that I am changing I go and show her my true side. We went back and forth with me pleading for a little bit. She then had to go.
I couldn't let the conversation end at that so I drove back to her moms house. She of course said she didn't want to talk anymore. She said, "I am done, you have changed some things, but the underlying problems will never change"
One of my main problems was me blowing up and cutting her with my words and low blows. Verbal abuse basically. She said she is done and has no hope what so ever any more and that she no longer wants to go to retrouvaille.
I ended by saying, it's only been a couple of months and I know I still have a lot to work on. I asked her if that I completely drop everything and not discuss until retrouvaille(which is in 3 weeks) if she would still agree to go.
She said, "we'll see"
That's where it ended and now I better keep my mouth shut about everything if there is a chance