I bet you knew this response was coming...WHY are afraid? I'll take a stab at the answer for YOU since I suspect you will not answer it.
I was afraid of a lot of things before, and sometime I still find myself affraid/worried about things. What I learned was that the way I looked at things was "flawed" (at least that's my opinion). I consider everything FINAL...when in reality NOTHING is really final per se. Nada. Nothing - except death. Think about it for a second.... You can be done today with your X. Jump up and down and say you will never get back with her (and FTR, I'd join ya) EXCEPT the reality is that neither you nor I have an idea of what will happen in the future. That is unless you have crystal ball that forgot to mention. I said flawed earlier because I came to realize that we can only really focus on the HERE and NOW. You or have no idea of if you two will get back to together. We really don't (not that this is what you should be thinking about). Maybe you should FINALLY - FINALLY - FINALLY give living in the moment a shot. So don't worry about being done, not being done, being quassie done. Worry about how you can make TODAY the best day you can!
Quote:
I let my anger show a little bit. I fail.
Fail? WTF, you mean to tell me that you showed a little anger (I would replace the word anger with nuts - buts that just me) and you think you failed. Why? Is it because everything you continue to do in your life is based on trying to get her back? Dude, you have every RIGHT to be angry. Yep. It's okay to be pissed the F off! Chit you should try really giving her a piece of your mind one of these days. Hell it might even help you feel better.
You did not fail Tad...at least not with showing some anger. Nope not in my book.
Where YOU are failing (my opinion and I am not a medical professional) rather WHO you are failing is YOU man.
You act as if your live is meaningless without her in it. You come accross as if you whole sense of self is tied to her. Have you not learned that giving ANYONE that much power over how you feel is NOT HEALTHY?
As AJM has said, you have suppressed the anger for way too long. It's about time you let it out and FTR...I actually think you have not let it out because a lot of it will be directed at YOURSELF. How could I have given her so much power? WHy did I allow this to happen? Blah blah blah. Personally, you should be pissed at her and yourself (others may disagree with me here) but why would not pissed off. Being angry though is not the real issue here though.... the real issue is HOW YOU USE THE ANGER. Do you use it to keep your as* stuck? Do you use to sit around moping? Do you use it stay depressed and sit around with a whoa's me attitude? Do you use to go date someone else hoping that they will make YOU feel better?
OR
Do you use it to finally push yourself to pick your as* up and start planning YOUR future. Do you use to push yourself to get up today and do something FUN?
The choice is your buddy...it is several years post bomb, the ecomony is worse, global warming is worse, our schools systems are worse...Life buddy is passing you by... I think it is time to pick yourself up and start living before this world really goes to hell in a hand basket.
In closing....when you are living your life and really trying to enjoy the gift that you have (your life, your kids) well then YOU can decide if you are done or not.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
