I know that this is very difficult for you, but you have to stop giving the ow room space in your head...she's not paying rent, so toss her out. She is a symptom of your h's mlc, nothing more. What they have is nothing more than being f@ck buddies. It is a very shallow relationship at best. He needs someone to pal around w/because they can't stand to be alone. They are like teenagers who have to have their adoring buddies around them to feel important. The ow is nothing like you because mlcers generally affair down and believe me, she's no prize in any way, shape or form. You are far, far better than she is. Sure they do some comparing along the way, but when they are further along in their crisis they begin to see that you are better than what he ended up being with.
May I suggest you do a search for LoisB's threads and read what she's been going through since she came to the board. We have had discussions on her threads about the ow and my advice was the same to her as it was to you...kick the ow out of your head...she's nothing and you don't need to give her the power to ruin your thoughts or feelings. Take back your power and leave her in the gutter.
Keep the focus on you, your health and your children.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
