The shared parenting thing is insane especially since at least in my case my H has no clue as to which days the kids have after school activities, sports, etc. I have always told him those things but I think its hard for him to keep it straight since he is removed for the day to day of it.
Its a shame very early on the MC that we saw and my H boss & mentor played into this co-parenting is great theory and my H bought it hook, line and sinker. He believes our D wont be like the divorces he remember from growing up because we will be co-parents and our kids will be happy because each of us are happy and self fulfilled individuals.
I wrote about the MC (it was a couple a man & woman) that we saw immediately after the bomb on these boards. They basically told me that I needed to accept that my H was living and there was nothing I could do to change that and my reaction was too emotional.
Comments on these boards reminded me that even if I had gone to more pro-M MC my H still would have left, I needed to be reminded of that. But I do still get angry when I think about those first MC and I feel a little stuck around those feelings. I really dont think I was over reacting when H first dropped bomb.
What is a normal reaction when you H out of nowhere says he is leaving you and your 2 children, 14 months and 2 1/2 at the time? People say I ignored warnings, but honestly I am not a mind reader, we were bidding on a house, I thought he was happy.
I wish those MC early on had recognized that my very emotional devestated reaction was in a normal range of emotions when the man you love tells you he is leaving.
I went to a work conference this weekend (my H & OW & I are all in the same industry so everyone at the meeting knows everyone). I was shocked by how many people still asked me about H as if we were still together. Its like people havent really gossiped about my switch because its almost too shocking. 90% of the people at the conference know me and H but very few know her because she is new in the industry (26), of course the first question woman ask me is, is H with another woman, I just say yes and tell them her name when they ask who.
In a couple of cases the woman I tell want get so angry at my H that I end of being in the position to go crazy with them or to defend my H and I don't feel comfortable doing either. I usually change the topic and say we need to have a drink one of these days and I will tell you the whole story.
My H and I are meeting Thursday, I guess to go over some stuff & agree on things so he wont have to pay his lawyer as much. I am not agreeing to anything without my L/father telling me what my rights are.
It makes me so sad to have this meeting. So sad.
I feel so lonely sometimes, raising my girls alone. It feels so unnatural not to share everyone of their little triumphs with someone.
I have so much to be grateful for I know. I just dont know why he cant see what he is flushing away.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
