I was a pretty prolific poster during my ordeal, so if it helps you narrow it down, her affair began in May of 2007, and ended in August of that same year.
My advice to you right now would be to not do ANYTHING other than get a plan together. When you move, you have to move fast and be sure about what you want to accomplish, and she's only going to lie to you right now anyway. She'll also likely take her affair further underground, which could hurt your ability to learn more (what is it about OM that appeals to her? Are your finances at risk? Are you in any legal risk of her filing for divorce anytime soon? etc.).
It's going to be extremely hard to "bite the bullet" as it were, but you won't have to do it for long. And if she doesn't know that you know, you don't have to worry about her thinking "omg, I can't believe he's allowing this without trying to do anything about it!" and losing respect (and therefore love) for you.
Let me know if you have any specific questions. This is very likely going to be the single hardest thing you've ever had to do, but the life skills you were learn in the process will make you forever stronger -- I mean that.
Starsky (formerly "Chocolateeyes" and "Puppy Dog Tails")
