Yes, thank you for the good advice...I know I need to stay on one post, just took a long time so I thought I would try it again. Hit two weeks yesterday. H has been late both Saturdays by 5 1/2 hours for both visits. I had previously called him to find out where he was, and asked him to send message on fb, he has only been on time to 2 out of 7 visits/phone calls. This Saturday I did not stay around, I did not call him, I had planned an outing with my sister, nothing to detailed but just to get out of the house and pretend all is okay. Well H finally called 3 1/3 hours after he was to be to the house, I waited another hour to call him back and inform him S was at my mothers and he would have to get him there because I was not available.
Lets just say H did not like this but knew he had to go there, he intitially said he would say something to my parents but never did. H tried to get me to bite about the conversation he had with his sister, the first family member he has spoken with about the whole thing. But I just said it must have been a hard conversation to have and left it at that...he did not add more. He tried again that night to get me to bite by saying he and S slept in the car in the drive because S was asleep and H was really tired, I did not ask why he was tired...was proud of myself.
H asked why I had changed the cat litter brand told him it was easier for me to handel the changing of the litter...seems he noticed . Little things right!
H did not say anything about the frig or the bag of food I had set aside for him but he did take it.
H has informed me that he is to visit his son tonight and then will be gone all week and next weekend snowmobiling and then does not know when he will be visiting after that. I did ask for him to watch s overnight in two weeks which will be our one month mark.
This is my 180, I would have never let H watch breastfeeding s overnight alone, he had asked last week about it and told him I did not feel right about it yet, did not want to mess with s sleeping arrangement already. Then reflecting I thought this would show him trust and that he could handel it and that I was doing something for myself.
Have also been reading self help books on happy women, not sweating the small stuff ect., planning on going to weight watchers starting this week, planning a party at my house for the 24th of March, which his birthday is the 22nd. That is a question, typically I would give him a card from s, should I still do that, should there be a gift, he is only 17 months old?
Also trying to get out and do things with non-family members...
Did have one big slip up which I wish I could so take back now!! H had mentioned that his sister and I could talk about things, I sent a fb message and she has not sent anything back yet...wish I could take this back but all I can do is learn from it and move on.
In IC I plan on addressing that I only want to talk about marriage for 1/2 time the rest work on me. I understand I am/was controlling, resentful and lack self esteem and need to work on these things no matter what.
I have also stopped bugging H about counseling, I had previously mentioned, per his request to speak with IC about other IC he could work with. H knows I did this but I am not informing him, he can ask if he would like.
H did mention going to see an attorney, just to get info, but he has said nothing yet about this.
I plan on going upstairs to read etc when he comes tonight and let him know to have a fun weekend snowmobiling, I had told him in the last few months to go and do this with my family but he had not, did not go all of last year either. Funny how when he saw I had gone on Saturday he informed me on Sunday he was planning on going.
I would do anything to have him back but realize we both have to work on issues in the marriage...I do like the comment people make about not fixing the current marriage but starting a new one. If we get to a point to talk about that again, I may mention this to him...when timing is right, trying hard not to push...
This is all soooo against everything I want to do...need to get my hands on the Sex-Starved Marriage too...tried to get it the other day and store did not have it.
. Little things right!
