I have dilemma I am asking for help with... W emailed me some honest stuff this morning, I will give the significant snippets for background:
"very said too about taking S1 to school and the reality of my kids getting older and the house so empty... i know S2 is here.. which helps ... but i'm still feeling what i think i ran away from all those years... numbed my feelings with shopping and chatting.... and i don't want to feel them now either... i'm too depressed all ready...
saw a pretty woman at the school... why should i be jealous.. i am attractive too... i don't know ... but i was focused on how attractive she was dressed and looked... "
"i feel screwed... like i'll never find my way... and that i've made a lot of mistakes... i'm so lost... and feeling so lonely.... and unfulfilled...."
"right now i'm crying and tapping on this sadness.. i found a good EFT script.... it's been very helpful
talks about running from the feeling... and i want to do that so bad... i don't want to grieve.... it's so painful....
i don't know if i can let go of all my contacts right now... i'm too depressed and feeling alone.... ja__ was a significant one... the rest are not... but i can't end it all at once..."
I haven't responded yet (which probably has her in a state since I am so good at responding quickly). I feel like this honesty is significant, and I do appreciate it, I also feel there is a test in there somewhere...so I am asking for some advice since the last advice regarding the cooking/groceries was so successful from all of you
Part of me wants to say, "well, that is your choice, I have mine" sorta thing, or something along rH's line of "deciding on her timeline" to her H, or nothing except "thank you for your honesty, I appreciate it"...
Idk, this isn't unexpected, especially if she has become addicted, but still, I know I am weary of that aspect and know that we can't move along with "us" while there is OP in communication, even if not "significant". Then there is a small part of me that toys with the tough love approach and/or just saying "eff it, I'm done".
So NOT a good way to start a Monday work week...
Other than that we got the kids all situated in new schools TOGETHER, and not too bad around the house. I came close to budget with groceries, only went over because there were staples that needed re-stocking and some toiletries, I made some good dinners and cleaned up the kitchen nicely (of course, W was jealous (that IS such an issue for her whenever other people do things successfully, especially me) I told her that there was no reason, that I spent years doing kitchen work, and I wasn't trying to show her up, that my only thought was to leave things nice for her in the morning, and that she can always feel free to jump in, not a competition or anything like that...
So I will wait before responding, I have a bunch of work to do anyway, any advice welcome as always...
Oh look, a squirrel....! (lol)
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
