Well. i accepted my ex-sister-in-law.. No discussion took place.. We are just liking post from eachother so far.. Yesterday was my mother' s birthday and the kids wanted to come with me so i ask my ex if it would be ok to switch our week-ends. He said yes, it would make things easyer on him.. He would have the kids on pay week... We got back last night and i saw he had called at supper time.. I didn' t return the call.. I only do if he leaves and message and request me to call him back.. He called again at 7PM.. I answered and he was asking about our trip, about my mom, about the roads and about my family who were present... He was fine.. An hour ago, i checked my cell and noticed 7 texts from last night, from him.. 1.You know i' m dead inside already 2.Have been for sometime 3.When i finally give up, i want you to make the kids strong. 4.I' ll always love you, but not in the way i used to.. but regardless I' ll always care for you ( my name ). 5. You know as the kids get older I get weaker 6.I' m tired. 7.But i say burn to the rain.
I called to see how he is doing... Once again, he apologized.. Said he was fine until he got home... Said it is like something sets him off and he gets lost... I asked if he really feel those things inside or if they just come out when he is drunk.. He said in a very soft voice: " Yeah, kinda, some i do... There was a silent pause and he started talking about regular stuff... After about 10 min. i said that i should let him get back to work and he thanked me for my call... Told him to take care and hung up... Since x-mas, i have been getting myself ready for his suicide I pray to God he doesn' t do it.. I pray for help.. I pray for strenght.. I pray for forgivenes.. I pray for love... I pray for PEACE...
