Lost her love or MLC?

[Alias71]

So, she got a call at 10.30pm. By 11pm she was out to go "down the pub"!! She said that she wouldn't be long; only 1 drink.

Eventually, at 6.30am she strolls in. I asked if she was were she said she was and she said that she'd show me the phone details (the first time!!). She showed them so fleetingly I couldn't quite make out what the name was and so made the exercise pointless (and increased my suspicion)

The next day was was a country ball/dance so I knew that she would be out late (especially as she was one of the organizers). She left at 7.30 and eventually got back at 4am.

7 hours later she was out again down the pub to discuss the previous nights events. She said she wouldn't be long. Only 1 non-alcoholic drink. 4 hours later she arrived back home. I know I shouldn't have done but I tore in to her.

Today we had a reasonably frank discussion. (A rarity. I think that I'm the only person in this damned village she doesn't talk to!) She is so all over the place. She concedes that trying to mend the marriage is the obvious and sensible thing to do but doesn't think that it would work out so would rather a separation.

It's so confusing and irritating. I struggle to keep my temper subdued as I'm always stressed, invariably tired (I just can't sleep when she goes out. I'm so worried all the time) and unhappy. I know that it doesn't help but I did get a positive reaction from her yesterday. She actually responded in a way fitting with her actions towards the children. (ie hardly ever being there for them)

Another thing that I forgot to mention is that neither of us have "proper" jobs. My wife had one she loved but when her contract ran out after 2 years last Summer they didn't renew it and I've struggled to find enough clients to earn a reasonable wage.

I've made so many mistakes and continue to make them and I'm probably hoping/expecting too much from DB but if it (and other books) gives me hope (even if it's only to move on) then it'll be worthwhile.

Any advice would be most appreciated. (Still waiting for DB. Should've been here almost 2 weeks ago!!)