I addressed this a bit to you on my thread, but in order to be friends with H, I have found that two things must occur:
You have to be happy where you are. Oh, I am not saying that everyday is a wonderful Disney kind of day, but that you have to have your own life (This is where the GAL comes in...you have to get out even if just for a movie by yourself in the afternoon when H comes). Take a free class in something, anything. Check the Groupons etc for good prices and deals in your area. Try something once just to see...this is key. The more you isolate yourself, the harder it is to see your own worth Turtle. Once you are good with you, you can accept that being friends may never result in the R you want. That any expectation is going to kill you and you have to be in the spot where if nothing happens with H, you go on with your life because it is full and rewarding already
The second thing is that H must also want to be friends, but he must also realize that your expectations are none. As you have already posted, H is being stand offish because he doesn't want to raise your hopes. So when you have your own life and you are carrying on and you seem happy and are doing your thing, he will cautiously throw a friendly something out there and you respond in kind. Even if a phone call where he starts to talk about other things, you can be supportive and friendly and then say "Gotta go, have to go to store, gym, lunch, etc" and it was great to talk to you. Talk to you later (smile smile smile upbeat),
My H constantly wonders how he left and I got happy...lol! I acted as if for the longest time and then I realized, I was pretty freaking happy. And am happy that he is getting to a good place as well, even if he needs someone else to do it with.
Good call on H and kids at his place. I would let them go more often. And don't be home when they are at H's...go out, have some fun, wander around, do something that looks interesting but never thought you would do. Sometimes I compliment total strangers on their hair, look etc. I asked the barista at Starbucks if I could make my own latte (sadly no ). But he gave me great advice on karaoke...lol. Put yourself out there just a little. You can make someone's, or your day by giving a small compliment or getting out of your comfort zone. Try it!
