Even now, the thought is in my head but I know it is a bad idea, so I typed this instead. I also wrote her a letter about how stupid I think her decision is. Once the initial rush wears off she'll still be just a depressed as ever. Then she will have lost her family only to be unhappy somewhere else. I've been throwing them away. Just trying to get the thoughts out.
Excellent, you're doing the right thing! It really does help to get that out of your system, and if you gave any of these thoughts to her it would just be pressure and she would very likely just not respond to them at all (I learned this the hard way early on).
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I get the feeling from our talk a couple days ago that she isn't really 100% sure she wants to leave me.
I don't think a WAS is ever 100% sure of anything, they may act like it on the outside but inside they're very confused over their choices. That doesn't mean she won't proceed with marrying OM, but I doubt she's 100% convinced it's the right thing to do.
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I think she felt forced to leave because I told her I wouldn't share her. She wanted to do 5 days at home and 2 with him. I said it was all or nothing. I just didn't have the strength to do otherwise even though it meant a better chance at winning her back.
I think you made the right decision, if you allowed her to split time between you and OM then you would likely have been stuck in a never-ending emotional limbo.
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I think this will be best for me and my self respect in the long run.
Absolutely!
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I'm worried that she'll get married and something awful will happen and I would lose custody of him to a stranger because they were married. I have power of attorney for him (for school) but no real legal standing. It's terrifying.
I can tell you're upset and understand why you would be. Sounds like you're doing the right thing in consulting a L. It's normal to worry, but see it as just being an emotion, emotions don't control you unless you let them. Don't fight it, just let it roll through and stay on your game plan.
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I imagine that it will take months for her to realize she might have made a mistake. She will be married by then. Any hope, or is it over?
There is hope for as long as you care to hold it in your heart.
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I'm trying to just move on with my life like it's over but inside I'm dying.
I know it's hard to believe right now, but it does get better! You're barely 6 weeks into your sitch, in my sitch that was around the time that I really hit rock bottom. I thought I was handling things well, but at around 6 weeks I crashed and burned big time. Major depression and anxiety, didn't sleep for days on end, etc. I ended up getting prescribed anti-depressants and really think that's what brought me back from the brink. If you don't feel yourself improving soon then you might consider that. But regardless, healing takes time and you've got to give yourself that time.
