Seriously? You Don't Know His Name?

[VeryGrateful]

FY, thanks for the response. I really appreciate your insight.

No big breakthroughs.

And there probably won't be for a long time. Especially if she is in MLC.

I agree. I have quite low expectations.

Idk VG, I think you may be trying too hard to turn things around asap here. I even question all the MC over so many months with so little to show for it. All the books, studying, trying to figure out the problem... Sure, you want to work on yourself, but you can do that quietly on your own. She'll notice.

I probably haven't done the best job of posting some of what's going on in our sitch on my thread. Regarding the MC, this is something W has wanted to continue. I have asked her if she does want to continue since S and she has said yes. Just asked her two weeks ago. I actually think we are making some good progress over the last two weeks. I have low expectations of a "big breakthrough". And she is still distant, like a friendly neighbor. So that is the hard part, being with her and so much distance. As you know, hard to take.

She's still looking for space, correct? If so, granting it is your priority right now.

Yes, she does want space. I think I've done a good job with space. Not contacting her. We see each other 3 days a week. And she has wanted to do these things, one of which includes the MC sessions one day a week. On the other 4 days of the week I don't contact her and leave it to her. The funny thing is, we seem to be in contact on these days because of the kids. Usually, initiated by her. Actually, would probably be better if we did not have so much contact because that would give her a better view of a true separation and what life would be like without me. But when she calls or texts on these off days it's hard not to respond. Usually the context is kids logistics but also telling me what she is up to.

Maybe just relax a bit, enjoy life where you're both at for now, and try to just be friends. No pressure to "fix" things. Then see where things go from there... you can't force a true connection.

Thanks for reminder on relaxing and I should enjoy the space I currently have to enjoy life. For the most part I am. Just have my moments where I feel I want to plead to start warming up to me again. But you are right, only a true connection will come if I am relaxed.

I can see you have a strong commitment to your M VG, so I have no doubt you can do this. Bust On, my friend!

Thanks and like you I plan to hang in there. I have come too far. Will be patient.