Crazyville, perhaps we can help each other. I have posted but my posts have yet to be approved, I guess. I don't know your story other than what I am replying to and it sounds like you are thinking of separating but just don't want to work on the marriage. I can't say that my story is a success but I think we are making some positive moves toward reconciliation. My wife left me in October 2012 after 21 years of marriage. I drank and stayed out late 2 to 3 times a week for various reasons but I think mostly I never healed from my wifes infidelity in the first year of marriage. I hurt her by holding back over the years. The intimacy in the relationship wasn't there. I essentially hurt myself by never forgiving my wife. We love each other, no doubt there. I never fully realized her pain until after she left. I pursued her for three months and now I have stopped once she said she wanted a D. That was one month ago. She now has shown some interest and told me last night that she wasn't sure that she wants the M to be over and asked if we could meet periodically. I said yes, of course and told her that we hurt each other and that the intimacy in the relationship was affected but that as ambigious as the R is that I was here and want to be a source of security for her. She says she is depressed and confused by her feelings and that she wasnt sure if it was fair of her to not let me go if she was't sure what she wanted for the future. I guess my story might be success in the sence that I have changed. I stopped drinking for the most part, lost 23 pounds, am selling the house and dealing with the renovations as my wife signed a one year lease down the street. I have emersed myself in my work and my two children who are both in college. My wife and I have been together since we were 17. We are 43 today. If you have separated or are thinking about it I can tell you that it will have an affect. My wife didn't want to work on the marriage either and proly still doesn't but said last night that she plan to get some counseling. Can you tell me little about your situation? Maybe help me understand the WAS syndrome? any advice? I love my wife and want to see my marriuage and our family stay together.
