busting, I know this is hard. I still wrestle with the fear of being alone and of not being good enough. But that happens more when I'm not taking care of myself and wishing for things that aren't.

I also know the feeling of not having the family life that I had planned on. Sheesh after 32 years I thought I was home free...but I wasn't. And yes, it's different when the kids are older but I had always seen us welcoming DILs and grandchildren. (H loves little ones and I could just see him with a grandchild)

Now I have to let that go and enjoy the day because I don't know what the future holds and I think that's the really scary part, turning it over and enjoying the ride.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss