Help & Advice needed please Thread 2

[2thepoint]

JOURNAL

Been a tough few days as I have been making preparations for my dads funeral which is on Friday.

When I have seen my Wife she has been soft and nice - asking how I am etc - when she is not with me the texts and emails etc i get are cold and distant.

It's like Jekyll and Hyde.

She is going to the funeral - although not with me - you'd think at times like this she would offer me a little support but she really hasn't.

Sorry to hear about the death of your father. I hope you are able to find peace after processing the pain.

It has to be extremely difficult to understand how your W can be seemingly caring one minute and go completely cold the next. It is as they say, mostly script. The WAS has to continue to convince themselves that their decisions are the right decisions even if from the outside, they seem completely irrational and ill conceived.

Regarding the hurtful comments your W made, again this is really more of an attempt to create such distaste that no one in their right mind would consider sticking around. It is what she feels she needs to do in order to follow through on her plan. She may one day grow to regret her choice but you shouldn't be trying to goose that along. If she comes around, it will happen when/if she is ready and not before.

As you have likely been advised and read among these pages, you need to look after yourself. Prepare for the reality of a permanent break up of your family. Doing so with help you move forward and detach in a way that will help you survive this tragedy.

Finally, think about how your W would react if you were to stop being affected by her spew. How might she react if you were to totally and completely detach? If you can do this though, you can't do so with the thought of getting her to come around. It has to be so that you can survive and thrive on your own. Afterall, isn't your reality today anyway?