Confused by WAS

[Grizz]

I can see being friendly. I cannot see be friends. My W thinks we can truly be friends. Just like you all stated, how can you be friends with someone that has destroyed your life. The trust is gone. You cannot have a friendship if you don't have trust. You can have an aquantance without trust but not really a friend. I do agree that it will be better for everyone involved if you can be friendly. We have faked it enough already that our kids don't suspect anything nor do our friends ( except our closest friends whom we have told). But honestly, I am so bitter right now that being friends is so far from where we are now that I just don't think it is feasible.

Found W gently crying in bed this morning. She was trying to hide it. This makes me feel like s$&t. I probably shouldn't have but I went over to her and hugged her. I asked if she was ok and she said yes. I sat beside her and patted her back for a few minutes. I asked her if she wanted me to stop and she shrugged her shoulders. I asked if that meant she didn't know or she didnt care. She closed her eyes and didnt answer. So I stopped. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! EVERYTHING seems to be the wrong thing! She then got up, called a friend, and left to go to a movie. Now both of us feel like s$&t. I wanted to say that I was sorry for making her feel like she had to leave but I stopped myself. I feel so freaking lost and alone!