Confused by WAS

[adinva]

I'm going for option 3. I'm not faking friendship with a man who does not care what is going on in my life, who does not look past the end of his own nose, who does not contribute anything positive to my life, just so we can appear as if this all went down and no one got hurt.

I'm also not going to hate him or look at him as my enemy. I feel compassion for his pain, I'm very sorry things went the way they did, I'm distraught that I played a part in it, I'm not going to be his victim.

But I see us being ex-spouses, which is different from friends. Closer to acquaintances. You care what's going on in their life, you don't wish them ill, but they're not a part of your circle of friends.

My H thinks we can skip straight to friends somehow if we're not hating each other, but to me there's a long distance between ex-spouses and friends even if it is a cooperative and polite relationship.

I'm wondering if that's realistic in other people's experience. I think the fake friendship my H wants will appease guilt over his choices and I'm not feeling like that's my responsibility to accomplish.