Living, Getting the Paperwork Started (20 months)

[adinva]

True T but you don't know from this side whether your kid will be one of the lucky or unlucky ones. I have alcoholism in my family and that became a meaningful thing that influenced my behavior but not until about my late twenties.

Back to H. I'm feeling more frequently he pops into my thoughts and infeel sad for him. I wonder about inviting him over bc i think of him alone, possibly, and maybe being lonely. Sil said he sounds lonely. I am completely out of tactics now, just trying to live this thing out. I don't see how he'll ever get to a place where i'd want to be married to him, but i'm not closed off to the possibility. It's just not on my radar for the forseeable future.

I don't consider h a friend to me. I look for emotional connection from those i count friends. But he's a person i care about and i feel sad for him atm.

I am just musing on this bc i'm kind of surprised by these thoughts about him when my own life is already plenty overwhelming to me.